And 'lo the lord said unto the nephites, 'i, uh, i know you're really depressed,
well, with all your aids and everything. but there's an answer in christ.
You see, this book can help us.
Elder cunningham
I just told a lie.
No, wait, i didn't lie...
I just used my imagination.
And it worked!
Elder cunningham's father
You're making things up again, arnold. (but it worked, dad!)
You're stretching the truth again, and you know it -
Don't be a fibbing fran, arnold. (joseph smith?)
Because a lie is a lie. (it's not a lie!)
You're making things up again, arnold! (oh conscience!)
You're taking the holy word and adding fiction!
Be careful how you proceed, arnold.
When you fib, there's a price.
Ahh, this is bullshit! the story that i have been told is that the way to cure aids
is by sleeping with a virgin! i'm going to go and rape a baby!
What!?!! oh my - no! you can't do that! no!!!!
Why not?
Because that is definitely against god's will!
Says who!? where in that book of yours does
It say anything about sleeping with a baby, huh?! nowhere!
Uh, behold, the lord said to the mormon prophet joseph smith, 'you shall not have
sex with that infant..!' lo! joseph said, 'why not lord? huh? why not?' and the
lord said, 'if you lay with that infant you shall...pghwwwww!...burn in the fiery
pits of mordor.
Really?
Uh huh...uh huh. 'a baby cannot cure your illness, joseph smith - i shall give unto
you a...a frog!'...and thus joseph laid with the frog and his aids was no more!
(ohhhhh....)
You're making things up again, arnold.
You're recklessly warping the words of jesus!
You can't just say what you want, arnold. (come on, hobbits!)
You're digging yourself a deep hole.
I'm making things up again, kind of!
But this time it's helping a dozen people!
It's nothing so bad because this time -
I'm not committing a sin just by making things up again, right?! (no!)
Elder cunningham! you have to stop him!
